Freedom of Choice-Brings Secret Shame!

A Call to Come Out of Hiding

There is an urgency stirring in my heart—a call to women and men who have aborted their babies.

You know who you are.
You hide in shame.
You work hard to cover your pain.
You live with regret.

You go through your days trying to pretend it never happened, yet every time the subject of abortion arises, your heart cringes in silence. You are afraid to share your story because you fear judgment—fear that others will look at you differently. You find it difficult to receive God’s forgiveness.

I know this place well, because I, too, have felt these things.

We are not alone. Since 1973, an estimated 60 million or more babies have been aborted. That means there are millions of mothers and fathers just like you and me. They are in workplaces, churches, hospitals, and neighborhoods. You have likely walked past them at the mall, in the grocery store, or even in the prayer room.

Our freedom of choice has driven many of us underground, living with secret shame. Perhaps you are reading this and thinking, I don’t feel this way. If that is the case, this message may not be for you—but please respect those for whom it is.

The Lie of “Freedom of Choice”

“Freedom of choice”—that is what they call it. We even vote for those who promise to protect it. Blinded by deception, we agreed with the lie, believing we had found a solution, a way of escape.

The message was simple: “Do it—and keep it silent.”

But if it was right, why did it feel so wrong?
Why did it feel like a part of me died?

When many of us later chose to start families, guilt surfaced. Deep down, we knew that deciding which baby lives and which baby dies could never be right. I am a realist, and the truth is this: I let my children down.

That truth is painful to admit, but it is necessary. Unless we acknowledge what we have done, we cannot be healed. We cannot truly repent, and we cannot fully receive God’s forgiveness.

The Path to Healing 

Scripture tells us:

James 5:16
“Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

This verse burned in my heart. It became a lifeline—one that helped carry me through my own healing.

The Lord began to speak to me:

“Come out. Stop hiding in shame. Come and be healed. Allow yourself to grieve your loss, for what was taken was a life. You have repented, and I have forgiven you. Now take what was meant for evil and turn it toward good. Be a voice. Share your testimony. Proclaim ‘Yes to life.’ What people think does not matter—what matters is the mission I have given you. Your story will save lives.”

This word is for you as well.

Be a Voice

There are unborn babies who need our help. When I look at the statistics, my heart cries out, Mothers and fathers—what are we going to do?

Every voice matters.
Every story carries power.
Every testimony has the potential to save a life.

You may be thinking, How can I be pro-life when I once chose abortion? Wouldn’t that make me a hypocrite?

I didn’t know Jesus when I made my choice. I found strength when I found Him! It is Jesus who holds my hand and helps me move forward. He does the work through us. 

Those considering abortion are often more willing to listen to someone who has been where they are—someone who understands their fear and confusion. That does not mean we encourage abortion so we can relate; it means God can use our redeemed stories to reach hearts others cannot.

More ground is covered. More lives are saved.

A Place for Grief and Restoration

With the Lord’s direction and strength, I gave my unborn babies names and held a memorial service. I invited family and church members. It was difficult, but God’s presence was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The Lord impressed upon me to give an altar call, inviting mothers and fathers to grieve their unborn children. I was overwhelmed by how many came forward—how many stories mirrored my own. We wept together.

And somehow, I knew Jesus wept with us too.

The Lord healed me, and He can heal you.

An Invitation

If you do not have someone you trust to confess your pain to and pray with you, I invite you to reach out. You are not alone.

You may email me at myrosepetal2@gmail.com if you would like to share your story. I will pray for you.

Final Thoughts

“A voice that speaks out can change more lives than one that cries in silence.”

Let the voices arise.

If you know someone who has had an abortion, please share this message with them. And if an unborn life is saved because you chose to speak, I would love to hear your testimony.

Be_A_Voice
Olga

It Was One Of Those Moments!

I remember a time in the presence of the Lord. I was carried away to a place I had never been before. I had the privilege of being touched by His love. It was one of those moments.

He began to reveal to me His mercy and grace. Wow… that You would love someone who had failed You so many times. Though there were hundreds of people around me—people You love so dearly—Your eyes gazed upon me, and Your hands reached for me. Lord, You took the time to listen to the cry of a lonely child.

I was desperate for You and longed to know You with all my heart. You stepped down and made everything around me stand still. In that moment, all my cares began to fade. My hurts were carried away, and fear became a word with no effect. It was Your joy that danced around me. Your peace transferred me into Your gentle arms, and the kisses of Your love melted all doubt.

You swept me off my feet.

I remember thinking, Please… let this moment last. This is where I belong. Right here, right now. There is no other place I would rather be.

It was in Your presence that I heard You say, “What do you desire?” Wanting so much to please You, I responded, “Whatever You desire for me, Lord.” And Your words to me were, “Give Me your heart.”

It was then that I sensed everything within me yielding with great reverence. I felt disappointed in myself and began to contemplate, Lord, I thought I had given You my heart. If I hadn’t given You my whole heart, who—or what—had taken it?

The revelation that You desired my affection began a search within me. I had to find out what had captured my passion if it wasn’t You. Was it my husband? My children? The cares of this world?

You gently brought to my memory: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart.”

In that moment, I realized there was so much more to giving my heart. “Please forgive me, Lord,” I asked. Your ways are higher than my ways. There was so much more to give, so much more to see, so much more to know. What You yearned to do with my heart was endless.

I could think of no one more deserving of my affection than You.

My prayer became:
“Lord, help me give You my heart the way You desire it. Anything I value more than You, let it be dethroned. Jesus, take Your rightful place instead. Organize my affections and put everything in its proper place. I trust You, my Lord.”

So You began to test, prune, purify, and reveal Yourself to me. Even now, I can discern You working within me.

My journey continues deeper than before. I notice my desperation for You has increased, and a new passion is being birthed. There is an urgency stronger than before. I find myself standing in awe of You.

The songs in my heart pour out:

Let the fragrance of my praise fill Your holy place.
Let the fragrance of my worship steal Your heart.
Let me feel Your warm embrace.

I stand in wonder of You, Jesus.

Your Bride,
Olga